Help. I’ve been catnapped

IMG_0723Hello. My name is Gerald Barrington-Fortescue III, but you can call me Munchie.

I’ve hijacked my dad’s blog while he wanders off to eat a pie or something. I NEED your help.

Recently, I’ve been catnapped, stuffed in a plastic, portable prison cell and taken to a place, far, far away where nasty misters and mrs’ers poke and prod me. They’ve jabbed me with needles and removed red-stuff from my neck.

I got my own back by peeing on their table. That’ll teach ’em.

My parents say there are problems with my kidleys and often force tiny pebbles down my neck and on the days when they don’t, my food tastes like they’ve mixed sand in it. I prefer GRAVY. 

Anyway, fatboy is heading back. Please send help NOW.

I would like to point out that NO PIES were consumed during my blog being hijacked. Strange how he thinks we’re kidnapping him when a trip to the vets is FOR HIM. Anyway, I thought I’d update you on our beloved fluff meister following on from his recent bout of walking into things.

During his life-time so far, he’s been stray, living rough in our garden and eating dried bread for weeks before we took him in. Then he’s had cancer and had half his tail amputated. He had another operation to have a pre-cancerous lump removed. After walking into things we found out he’d developed Kidney disease and also suffers from high blood pressure AND a heart defect.

Over the last few weeks, he started drinking more. Again.

No. Not that type of drinking. He’s not on the sauce. His water dish type of drinking.

He was also doing a damned good impression of a greedy little piglet, forming an orderly queue of one whenever we ventured near to the kitchen. I think he fully expected to share our pepperoni pizza the other day and he wants to have chilli.

Anyway, he also seemed a little unsteady in his walking, particularly his back legs so we rammed lovingly placed him into his plush basket and had a family outing.

The vets, who are always great, checked his blood pressure and heart and decided to take a blood sample. We were due for his check-up anyway to see if the medication is helping. They said they would run a urine sample and, no word of a lie, he immediately pee’d on the table. I’m sure there was a glint in his eye as he obliged.

After running the blood and urine tests, his kidneys, heart and blood pressure have all settled so the medication is at least working. Both his retinas have re-attached so he can see again.

Munch asleep

Munchie asleep under his favourite bush!

He does have a new problem. Diabetes!

The poor lad has more medical mayhem to overcome. And, so do we.

Feline diabetes is much the same as the human disease. The lack of insulin from their pancreas means daily injections to replace it.

Daily WHAT?!?!

Insulin syringes are marked in insulin "u...

Insulin syringes are marked in insulin “units”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes. As well as the three tablets he has every day, we now have to inject him with insulin as well. The vets have been brilliant in explaining what we need to do. They gave us a couple of syringes and vials of water to practice drawing the liquid though I’m sorry to say that the pear we injected as practice didn’t survive. 😦

The vets watched us inject him and seemed pleased enough to leave us to it for the rest of the week. Once a day to start though after another midweek trip to the vets to check his glucose levels we’ve now started twice daily injections.

The injections are actually easier to administer than the tablets. He doesn’t feel anything and thinks he’s having a fuss. I think it’s affecting us more than him!

So, when he cries for help. WE ARE HELPING HIM!

Thanks for reading and despite what Munchie thinks, please don’t report us to the authorities. We’re doing this for him. 🙂

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About Pete Denton

I'm a writer working my way through the redrafts of a British crime novel. I also write short stories, flash fiction and some screen writing. Check out my blog for more.
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32 Responses to Help. I’ve been catnapped

  1. Clanmother says:

    Munchie is very brave! I’m so glad to hear he is on the mend. But are you certain that there were no pies consumed!!? Hmmmmm….

  2. EllaDee says:

    Good to see neither you, nor Munchie have lost the 2 essentials to the good life, appetite and sense of humour… but of course I believe you about the pies. I don’t suppose the pear was at least in good enough condition to nibble on with some cheese and a glass of wine.
    But dear me, thank goodness he ended up in your garden, smart cat that Munchie is, it’s just like he knew you’d have the wherewithal and dedication to be a suitable custodian of his furry self.
    I’m sure Munchie repays your kindnesses generously in fur and drool 🙂

    • Pete Denton says:

      Thank you. The pear was definitely a gonner!

      He did land on his feet coming into our lives and does repay us. We keep suggesting he starts a modelling career to really pay us, but so far no joy 🙂

  3. Wow, the things cats teach us. I must show this to may daughter, a cat has been her own best medicine since being diagnosed with diabetes 2 years ago. I wonder if humans do it for cats when they have those fragile moments. 🙂

  4. davidprosser says:

    You just wouldn’t listen when I told you not to let him read Oscar’s book would you. Now Munchie has found out how to hi-jack ahem, borrow your blog you’re on a very hard road. For instance, you give a life-saving injection but hurt him,what does he do? He tells the world how many curlie-wurlies you eat a week but doubles it. A rod for your own back Pete.
    I’m delighted Munchie’s meds are having some effect but really sorry to hear he’s added to his list of woes with diabetes. I know you take great care of him even if he doesn’t like the Longlegs in white fur, so give him a little fuss from us next time you’re playing will you? Thanks mate.

  5. Hugs to Munchie (I’m typing this over a Norwegian Forest Cat that’s between me and my laptop.) We had a cat that was diabetic for the last 18 months of her life and it really was no bother at all. I swear she could feel her blood sugar rising and was waiting for us to inject her towards the end. Like you say, they don’t feel a thing apart from happier!

  6. Jemima Pett says:

    Hugs to you and Munchie. I don’t know about diabetes in cats, but I do know that even guinea pigs can get it, heaven knows why. Anyway, good luck with your medical care – I haven’t had to do injections but I’m quite good at guinea pig dentistry now. :O

    Munchie’s a lucky cat, even if he thinks he isn’t!

    • Pete Denton says:

      Thanks, Jemima. Wow, I didn’t know guinea pigs could develop this either. Good to know you have guinea pigs dentistry skills. I’m sure they come in handy 🙂

  7. Jade Reyner says:

    This is brilliant – not that Munchie is ill, but the way that you have written it. I am sorry to hear that he has yet another thing to contend with but he is a very lucky moggy to have landed in your house methinks. 🙂

  8. Hang in there Munchie. Pie boy is only trying to make you feel better. We are here for you. Post us any time. Old Grey Beard leaves the keyboard several times a day so we can get on no problem.

    Marble and Hermann

  9. Gwen Stephens says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about Munchie’s latest ailment. That cat really does have nine lives. Every time we take our cat to the vet, the folks at the front desk go through a series of questions to update her medical history, and “frequent drinking and urination” is always one of them. She’s overweight, so I do worry about diabetes, but damn, she’s always hungry!

    • Pete Denton says:

      Thanks, Gwen. Because of his kidney problems we thought the drinking water etc was just because that condition was worsening. After the vet diagnosed diabetes and we googled it (as you do) he had EVERY single symptom.

      Might be worth mentioning it to your vet next visit in case she is developing it too. Good luck 🙂

  10. Dear Munchie: I’m sorry to hear that you’ve not been feeling well. I can sympathize with those trips to the place where they poke and prod you, The people who think they own me also put me in a plastic box to take me to a similar place. The box is very small, possible because I am a svelte 16 pounds. Those people call me Mr. Waddles, even though my real name is Elijah Moon, but the vet says I am just a really big cat. They never feed me enough and they make me run around a lot and up and downs stairs. But it’s nice to be loved and I’ve come to realize I own them and this place. I hope your health stabilizes and stay in touch!

  11. Bless Munchie and the wonderful people who love him!

  12. jmmcdowell says:

    It’s wonderful to hear from Munchie, but he should take a moment to think about — and thank you for — all the care he’s received from you! When I was growing up, if an illness wasn’t easily treatable, most pets were simply “put down” when their condition worsened. Times have changed! Now there’s even health insurance available for them.

    I know it’s contrary to cat nature, Munchie, but I think a little “thank you cuddling” is in order for your humans! 😉

    • Pete Denton says:

      Thank you. I agree about pet medical help has come on leaps and bounds over the last decade or so. He’s had all sorts of tests and scans I didn’t realise they could do!

  13. You are the best pet parents in the world. I’m so sorry to hear about the diabetes, but glad it’s treatable. And that the retinas have reattached. 🙂

  14. 4amWriter says:

    Po’ kitty! He’s so lucky to have found kind-hearted people like you all. We had a cat who suffered from diabetes, and my mother had to give the insulin shots because my sister and I were away at college. It’s a fiasco, but worth it when you know how much it really does help them. Hope all is continuing in a positive direction.

  15. cassmob says:

    I’m a total cat person so I can empathise with your concern but I also admire your bravery, and commitment. Sir Springer would be on strike!

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